Dealing with a Paedophile, and Poverty
Losing all you have because of pandemic business failure is one thing. When that business was your last ditch attempt to get back on your feet after (and still) dealing with a paedophile, it’s a whole other story.
A little background
It is hard to blog a story from the beginning. To cut it really really short both my partner and I had horrible childhoods. Unfortunately they were full of neglect and abuse and abandonment. To sum my life up: I had to deal with abandonment, child sexual abuse, the murder of my sister, domestic violence and a disabled child. I lived in fear most of my life from my sister’s murderer and in hiding from my children’s violent father. Hubby went through a crazy domestic life, the death of his daughter in his arms and his fathers suicide. He also left his home country to try to give his children a better life after a bitter breakup with his wife (keep them from being used as pawns against him).
Yet despite all this trauma, with lots of dedicated self-help and very little support, we made it through and eventually met each other. We have continued to support each other through our healing and have come a long way together. Even having two children together not that long ago, despite our maturing ages. We are highly family focussed and work tirelessly to ensure that our children are safe and loved. That they have a loving and connected family, like we did not have.
This seemingly simple task comes with a lot of difficutlites. When dealing with past trauma and PTSD as even the easy everyday things can sometimes become a struggle. However, sheer detrmination and strength of spirit can do wonders… as can love. If there is one thing we are rich in it is love.
Moving to safety… or so we thought
About 8 years ago we moved our little family to a small cottage to hide away from dangerous death threats by the children’s father, and in fear of my sisters murderer. Eventually we wanted to move on and to get our own home. With very little money, we looked into buying a cheap bush block and living on it in some caravans. Slowly building our own home was the plan. The man who owned the cottage convinced us to save money, use all his equipment and build a cottage on a different part of his property. He ends up with another home on his property. We end up with our own place with a minimum 10 year rent free lease. So that is what we did.
We invested all of our savings. And, great deal of hard work, time and energy was put into the build. The foundations and the bones of a timber home formed. Water tanks, windows, shed and thousands of dollars worth of clay delivered for render on a strawbale home. Once the project was fully committed to, the predator made his move.
We found out that the property owner was a paedophile! A career paedophile. One who had previously been to jail for sexually assaulting his stepdaughter for 8 years! Starting when she was just 5 years old! An ex-catholic school teacher who had no teaching qualifications. (We later did some checking up on his past and spoke with his ex-family/ex-victims.) Every school he had worked at had a history of paedophiles. Principals, teachers and priests arrested for historical child sex offences. All from the times he had worked there. Horrified, the sudden changes in our 12 year old daughter could perhaps now be explained, we talked with her. First discussions did not gleam any information of his inappropriate behaviour.
Immediately we went to the police who told us they could do nothing unless our daughter made a formal complaint. They advised us to not confront the man. Make up an excuse to leave and move out they said. Otherwise the paedophile could kick us off his property and keep all of our possessions. When lying is not your practice, it is hard to come up with a convincing lie to tell an expert liar.
Within a week we had completely moved out into an old rundown farmhouse. All we could get in such short notice. We did it all on our own, while a friend watched the children. Hubby already had herniated discs in his spine so moving was extremely hard. Adrenaline really does help! However his pain levels went through the roof and he has never really recovered. Obviously we could not take the partially built house with us. We had to walk away from all of our savings.
The depth of deception…
We had to turn into detectives. It took us a few months but we gathered the evidence. The predator, unknowing that we were on to him, continued to pursue our daughter. He even stalked us in attempt to see her. He stalked her school and sent her emails all of which we kept and documented. We also spent a lot of time reassuring our daughter that it was safe to talk with us. Eventually she did.
After hearing the story of the step-daughter. Hearing from the townspeople that there had been people before us who had suddenly fled Brett’s property. The realisation that Brett’s property is set-up to entrap victims. And, in order to protect future children from abuse, our daughter bravely came forward and spoke to the police. Danny Brett was arrested and remanded in custody without bail.
We spent some time in peace, trying to recover from the trauma. Until, the arresting Detective informed us of Brett’s release from jail only the day before! Immediately we were once again ridden with anxiety. This man was in love with our daughter as he had been in love with his step-daughter. He stalked her family for years. Even chaining himself to their front fence. Standing out the front of their house holding placards confessing his love for the child! The Mother had to move to a different country to get away from the insanity!
The laws are pathetic
Brett only spent the 16 months in jail he did because it took that long to get him into court. Once he appeared the judge let him out with a 9 month probation. The arresting officer limited his investigation only charging him with what he said he knew would stick. The DPP even dropped some of those because they only wanted to take to court what they knew would stick. Ultimately he got away with most of his actual criminal actions. In the mid-80’s Brett was jailed for only a few months and for a fraction of what he did. He got away with the years of deception, grooming, trauma and domestic violence. He got away with years worth of intimidation, physical abuse, repeated child rape, and stalking… and so much more that he put his young step-daughter and her family through.
This entire ordeal was extremely trying for our whole family. He was patient, highly manipulative and persistent. Whenever we placed obstacles in his path he just changed his method of attack and just kept on pursuing. He groomed our entire family. The whole house building exercise was part of the grooming. Playing on my previous vulnerabilities for security. Our desire to give our children some stability and hubby’s disabilities which kept us from earning any decent money. He even used our disabled sons disabilities against our family in pursuit of his desires. There is much to learn about the minds of predators that we were forced to become aware of.
Paedophiles are psychopaths
Protect your children. Get some insight into the truth of these psychopaths:
Paedophiles know no bounds. Brett even used Daniel Morcombe as a means of coercing our daughter into acccepting a secret phone to communicate with him… for her protection!!
“The phone would be handy now, I could still get it to you. I beleive all kids should have access to a phone in case of emergency or if they are in danger like poor Daniel was, they can get help.”
Here is a comment Brett emailed to our daughter clearly showing his sick beliefs about a 70 yr old man having a “relationship” with a 12 yr old girl.
“… we can have a warm loving relationship even though their is a lot of years between us, that doesn’t matter when you feel good with one another. Society doesn’t share that same view.”
This was amongst some emails full of sickening details. Along with comments intended on causing constant division between us and her, and lots of “rewards” of money in a secret bank account he had for her. All classic grooming behaviour.
It is the ignorance of good-hearted people that paedophiles rely on to get away with their abuse. Anyone who doesn’t think like a self-serving deviant The unwillingness of others to talk about it and to warn people of what they know, is another benefit to these predators.
The costs of heroism
Getting this career paedophile off the streets was a priority. This, and not running and hiding, were important lessons for us to teach our children. It turns out that trying to do the right thing has a heavy price to pay in this world.
- Hubby’s stress levels were so high he ended up having a stroke and went blind in his left eye.
- Instead of being hero’s in our community, people did not want to talk about it. We were confronted with old-school, rural Australian un-willngness to talk about the issue at all. An attitude which supports the predators by the way!!
- We have been left out of pocket financially and have no legal recourse. Lawyers will not take on our case without money up front. Brett is an individual, not an organisation ie: lawyers make no profit.
- A Victim Assist application hoping to recoup at least some funds was fruitless. Apparently their legislation does not even allow for reimbursement for the cost of the move away from the perpetrator! Why? Because we had not legally charged him prior to leaving his premises! What child abuse situation is going to allow for this? The child to have told the truth about what happened. The child to have spoken to police to make a formal complaint immediately upon discovery. Were we expected to wait for this before moving away from the perpetrator? To keep our kids in danger until charges were laid? I’d wager that no child sexual abuse situation would fit these parameters.
- Hubby is still disabled and in a worse situation than ever. With degenerative conditions this is likely to get worse as he gets older.
- We are all still totally limited in our movements and our opportunities in our town. The pervert was let out of jail and we, the innocent, have had to change all of our routines and habits in order to protect our children. Do they need to deal with the trauma from crossing his path down the street? Will he rekindle his sick love if he sees our daughter again? Or start stalking us again?
- Our teenage children can’t even work a casual job like their peers. This affects them now and will into the future.
Don’t give up
After some counselling and trying to move on, the desire to get our family some stability in a humble home of our own was even stronger now. That’s why we came up with the brilliant idea of starting a lithium ion battery business in order to achieve that. Why not use what knowledge we have gained over the years living off-grid? Sell a product that we think is great and helps the environment? Why not improve on what’s available and really change up the market? Hubby can help. Work from home and choose his hours around his pain and disabilities. I can do the same. Work around the little ones. The teenagers can earn some money working safely, for us. And so Leading Edge Lithium Australia was born and as the whole concept developed, we started to get hopeful.
After 12 months of hard work. After all of our savings and input from small loans we acquired, we had the equipment we needed. Components were ready for manufacture and supply chains just about all sorted. Then the Coronavirus hit before the business even got off the ground. See our First Coronavirus Update from March and our Latest Coronavirus Update from May. At this stage it is dead in the water, and our hopes and dreams along with it.
Well that was bad timing. Now hubby’s pain and mental health has now got worse. His condition is degenerative which means there is little hope he will ever be able to work now the business is dead. The repeated failure of not being able to provide for his family has taken its toll. We are back on the poverty heap dependent on a meagre disability support pension and a carers payment. Thankful that we have this to fall back on in Australia but still living well below the poverty line. Hubby has been waiting 2 years for disability support from the U.S. and still no word. It leaves us back at square one.
The paedophile knows where we live again and we need to move asap. We are worried about what we are going to do next. Our options are even more limited than they were before and hubby I am afraid is close to another stroke.
I tried to be hopeful. I called the bank about giving us a loan but with the income we have. The way they work out expenses for 4 children doesn’t allow them to lend us any money. Mortgage brokers might but we would need at least 20% (plus costs) to get a loan. We would be lucky to afford a block of land, let alone something to live in on it. The future looks very bleak.
I know that there are some people worse off than us and that makes it even harder to ask for help. I have been through so much that I have become kind of numb to adversity. My whole life has been a struggle to survive. I guess that’s why I have small dreams and have high hopes for the future. Hubby says I’m an eternal optimist and maybe that is true. I don’t really have the option to despair or to give up as my children depend on me! I have to hold it all together emotionally. I’m not sure what the future holds and again find myself just getting through each day… as survivors do.
What I do know is that we are good people, full of love and compassion. We do right by our children and by others. We help where we can in whatever way we can and we always have. Someone said to me not long ago that givers need to sometimes be receivers. They were right. That is why I am now opening up to receiving. Also why I am now asking for your help. Please help us if you can and donate today.
Thank you, take care and bless you.